


Blood Makes Noise

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-07 12:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12232740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: When Sara gets a letter from her father to Jien Garson, the contents threaten to destroy her relationship with her brother, Scott - and everything they ever knew about their father.





	Blood Makes Noise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



Sara Ryder knew when she was 14 years old that she would never earn her father's love. He had come home disgraced, and she had attempted, not for the last time, to earn his love by suffering.

She thought about that time now, Sloane's ticking time bomb of a letter still pressed between her fingers. Her father's disgrace had formed a hellish crucible that had fused the long-standing cracks in her relationship with Scott. They'd both been booted from the prestigious Alliance Junior Officer's club in their high school after one of the admirals son's had called their father a robofucker: Scott had punched the guy first but Sara, desperate to please, had been the one who jumped on the kids back and given him two black eyes before a teacher stopped the fight.

With shaking fingers she texted Scott. Can you come to my apartment? I have some news. She did not add what she suspected: that it would not be good. That it would, inevitably, be about their father. That it could, potentially, ruin her relationship with the one person she had left.

Scott worshipped their father. Sara knew this and knew it well. But Sara, like her mother, was observant and practical.

Once she reached a certain age, she knew the old man would never love her back. When Alex came to collect them from the school, his eyes still bleary and red, he had held Scott. Had promised things would beer okay, even though they all knew that mom was getting sicker and sicker. Still, Sara, desperate to believe, held out her hand to her father, seeking his approval. He gave her a wince, an awkward hand clap on her shoulder. She knew then that their father would never love her like he did Scott.

She wasn’t like Scott; wasn’t a great soldier or scientist, wasn’t clever or particularly charming. She was beautiful but not as beautiful as her mother; her father’s nose ruining the otherwise classical beauty of her mother’s features. And most damning of all, she had not worshipped the ground Alec had walked on.

And Alec had noticed.

Sara unfolded the envelope and refolded it. Sloane had been a bit of a drama queen; she’d never seen actual paper in her life, but here, pressed between her fingers, was another potential minefield of her father's secrets. Sloane had nice handwriting, Sara thought, absurdly, then scolded herself. That didn't matter.

She hadn’t read the letter yet. Couldn’t. She felt frozen, unsure as to whether or not she should look before telling Scott.  _You’ll see,_ Sloane had said, a wicked smirk on her face _. But you won’t thank me. Just remember, we’re even now, Ryder._

She’d staked considerable favors on this; this, which ultimately didn’t matter: the secrets of a dead man.

And yet.

It was true she had never felt particularly strongly attached to her father in her youth; he had been gone too long, been too distant. His was the heavy-handed criticism; she had tried to forgive, then to forget ,and had found herself not good at either. But despite this, she had known, deep down, her father’s character better than anyone else. Always hiding, always in the shadows. Classified. There were times when she felt his legacy hanging over her: an undeniable if chilling shadow.

She unfolded the letter again. If she read it, she would able to warn Scott better of its contents; Scott, who would take it hard. Scott, who had missed their father’s death but taken it harder than she had. Her fault, too; she’d lied to him, let him think that the mission was going better than it was – but what choice had she had? She had thought it would be their last meeting. She had never expected him to come out if that coma.

But he still hadn't forgiven her for her lies.

So if she read it, she'd be prepared, could soften the blow.On the other hand, reading it without him felt like a betrayal. She folded it up again, the paper wrinkling in her hands. They had always been twins, and for all her problems with their father – never had they kept secrets from one another. She groaned and placed her head in her hand.

“SAM – Should I look at this? Or wait for Scott?” She pressed her lips together. “Which do you think would have the better outcome?”

“Unknown,” SAM said. “Any decision should be made quickly. Scott is less than .10 miles from your door, Commander.”

“Shit,” she swore; just like Scott, to be early.  She was surprised he’d been able to book a cab to her small apartment on the Nexus that quickly, but it was like Scott to find a way. And she knew he’d been making plenty of friends on the Nexus. Sure enough, when she checked her messages, she'd missed his near-instantaneous reply that he was on his way, too busy twisting herself up into knots. 

She’d barely had time to start standing before the door burst open. Scott was here, and she could already see her father’s most frequent expression already gracing his face: annoyance.

His resemblance to Alec was growing more profound; there was the strong jaw, the soulful wrinkles around the bright brown eyes. It should have been him as Pathfinder, Sara knew, and he knew, too. A chance robbed of him like so many things. He had a cane now; something their father had never lived long enough to use.

“Sara,” Scott said. “You wanted to see me?”

The formality was never a good sign, and damn him for starting things this way. Yet another sign of how their relationship had suffered since coming to the Andromeda galaxy. In her darkest moments, she sometimes wished they’d stayed behind, had waved their father goodbye from the Citadel window before moving on, together.

“I did.” She tried to smile and prayed he didn’t see the amount of effort behind it. Not that it would be anything new. She took a deep breath, trying to dispel the darkness in her thoughts.

“And?” There was the ghost of her father then; impatient, Scott's hand already half on the door. He’d barely taken a step inside.

Unfortunately, Ryders were, as a rule, very good at holding grudges.

“You look good,” she said, and laughed, and she saw him wince, and knew it was the wrong thing to do. Once again, Scott 1, Sara 0.

He sighed. “Why did you call me, sis?”

She licked her lips and looked at the envelope in her hand; so small and so potentially devastating a package. She took a deep breath, ran her hand over its smoothed surface, and looks up at him: still frustrated.

“Here,” she said, placing the envelope in his hands. It was slightly damp from her sweat, and she winced as he made a slightly disgusted face for a second. She took a deep breath, trying to catch herself. It felt like her heart was trying to jackhammer past her lungs; her legs were almost jelly, and she tried to force herself to focus on Scott, not on the shadow looming behind him.

“What is this?” Scott looked at it carefully, his one free hand lightly running over the smooth paper, as she had done. “Is this…paper?”

“Yes,” She gasped, her voice a whisper. _Get under control, Pathfinder,_ she thought _. Courage_. “it's a gift – of sorts – from Sloane Kelly.”

He looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. Even Scott, left on this station, knew Sloane Kelly’s gifts rarely came without strings attached. “Sloane Kelly – _butcher of Kadara?_ _That_ Sloane Kelly? What are you doing with her?”

“I helped her out of a sticky situation,” she said, and it wasn’t enough. Scott looked at her. His lip curled in scorn, sickened by the thought of his sister helping someone like her – but he didn’t understand, Scott had never understood how many shades of grey existed in this universe.  Sloane wasn’t a superhero, but she wasn’t the worst person Sara had had to strike deals with, either. It was easy to be morally high and mighty when you spent your entire career on a space station watching other people go on to bigger adventures, she thought bitterly. Unlike Scott, she hadn't been recommended for the officer's track.

“It’s a letter from Jien Garson to – to dad.” She was well aware she was flubbing her words, but Scott frustratingly said nothing, just staring at the letter as if it would grow tentacles.

“Have you read it?” The clipped tones of his voice suggested very much that this was a test.

“No,” she said, being honest. The rather pronounced eye roll on Scott’s part suggested he did not believe her.

Without any more hesitation, he opened the envelope. The sound of the paper being unfolded felt almost obscene. The only thing louder in the room was the sound of her heart.

Scott’s eyes twitched over the page quickly, but he didn’t bother to read it out loud. Sara felt a brief pang of regret for having not bothered to read the letter prior to giving it to Scott – but then, they’d had enough of secrets in their family. He would give it to her when he was ready. For now, she would watch his reaction.

Scott’s hands shook as he read, but he otherwise gave no sign of his response. The thirty seconds it took him to read the brief, one-page note felt like an eternity. Sara held her breath.

Scott looked at her, fury in her eyes, and crumpled the note in his hand.

“Scott – “

“You must be so, so happy,” Scott said, his voice razor-sharp steel, and he turned on his heel and walked off with a grace she wouldn’t normally have associated with her brother.

In a few precious steps, he was gone, and the only thing left of Scott in her small apartment was the loud bang of the door as he left and the crumpled bit of paper that crunched beneath her boot.

She fell down to the ground, the crunch of the paper drawing her attention to it. She picked it up with shaking fingers, reading the message written in her father’s scribbling script:

_Jien –_

_It’s done. It took some doing, but the upgrades you asked for for the arcs had been done. The virus will alter all other ship's courses toward the energy cloud. It will look like an accident. Can’t say my conscious is clear but what the benefactor wants, they get. Passing this on to Sloane, as you requested. Make sure to tear it up, no records. See you in Andromeda._

_Alec_

Sara read the letter carefully three times, each time more and more carefully, so sure she was making a mistake.  But no – she realized with a sinking feeling – there was no mistake.

No wonder Scott had stormed out.

Her father had kept secrets. Secrets that had killed thousands. What had the Andromeda Initiative's benefactor wanted? A galaxy purely for humans? She wondered – what would have happened with the angora, had her father and Jien Garson remained in charge?

She would not think of the answer. Even if they had never been close, she could not say that her father’s death had, perhaps, turned out for the best. If not for her sake, then for Scotts.

And Scott, well…Scott. Shit. She ran a hand through her hair and breathed deeply. Scott was going to take this hard, of course, he was. Scott had never seen their father for what he was and – well, even Sara hadn’t thought of him as complicit in something as terrible as this.

She closed her eyes and let the tears run down her cheeks. All the years she had spent feeling guilty for not living up to her father – and now, she was ashamed of him.

Her phone rang and she sighed, but picked up, not bothering to look at who it was. It was part of her job as the pathfinder to be available whenever problems came up – and Addison tended to leave very long and uncomprehensible voicemails.

‘Pathfinder?” The voice on the phone said; she recognized it instantly.

“Hey Dutch,” she said, trying to sound cheerful about being sent on yet another ingredient fetch quest. “Looking for rare ingredients?”

“More like I want your brother out of my bar. Pick up your boy, Sara. He’s been pounding vodka for the last hour.”

“I’m on my way,” she said.

\---

She found Scott true to Dutch’s word – totally blotto. She picked him up and immediately wished she’d called up Drack to help her lift him up – Scott was heavy. Still, she struggled forward.

 “Why – why’d he do that, Sara?” Scott rested his drunken head on her shoulder, and she fought the urge to close her eyes, resist the desire to try to make the moment where her brother depended on her again last just that bit longer.

“I don’t know, Scott,” she said softly, shifting to better support his weight as he slid further down her side. “But we'll make it through this."

If she could fake her belief in it long enough, she thought, they just might make it together after all. 


End file.
